My life has sometimes been like a box of chocolates; each day when I would wake up I would never know what the day would be like.
Even though I have been through a lot of painful and unpleasant days I have found happiness and joy in the journey. The difficulties that I have encountered have molded me and made me into what I am today.
I am 43 years old and married to a wonderful man named Doug. I have 2 boys, ages 8 and 10. We live in Northern New Jersey. My story begins as a teenager who suffered a fair amount of PMS along with symptoms that largely consisted of irritability and bloating during half the month. My hormonal imbalance blossomed into anxiety around the age of 20 years old. The feelings of anxiety and panic were uncomfortable, scary and all consuming at times. I would have a constant flow of negative and anxious thoughts running around in my mind without the ability to control them. I wished that I had a light switch to turn off the constant worries that plagued me. I had periods of time that the feelings were not as pronounced, but overall I was never with out any anxiety. I struggled with certain situations such as large stores or malls, standing on long lines, being trapped between 2 cars at the bank drive in, airplanes, etc.
I met my husband at my church and was married at the age of 27. I had my first son at the age of 32.
During and after the pregnancy I felt anxious until I sought the help of a homeopathic doctor in my area. He was able to give me some relief but could not adequately solve my problems. After the birth of my second son at age 35, I felt well until it was time to wean him fully. It was at that time that the “bottom dropped out”. I became full blown anxious, barely sleeping, some nights I would sleep only 45 minutes or not at all. I was totally miserable and my husband didn't know what to do with me. I was always hungry, needing to eat all day long, I was shaky, craved carbs, was bloated, with pains in my stomach. My moods were horrible and worse than a roller coaster with all the ups and downs. I was tired, cranky, irritable and blue. I had no patience and a fuse the length of a millimeter. I suffered this way for about 3 years. I prayed and prayed and begged the Lord to heal me and asked everyone around me to pray also.
I went to my OB/GYN and told him how I was feeling. I begged him to draw
my blood and check my hormones; I had a feeling they were to blame. He was insensitive and disrespectful and only offered me a sample and script for Zoloft, which I refused. I then found a natural MD in my area that used the bio-identical hormones. He checked my blood and said that my hormones were very low. He prescribed the natural hormones and they helped a bit, but I still was not feeling well enough. I believe that the doses were not correct, even though he is a wonderful man and truly wanted to help. I also proceeded to have weekly acupuncture sessions for a solid year to try to get some relief. Again, that did not work well enough.
My husband found an ad in the Natural Health magazine for the Hotze Center and said that I should call (I am sure he was sick of me). I called and spoke to a woman named Nicky Nye. She was wonderful, extremely sweet and listened to me intently and told me they could help. I thought about it for 6 months until I was so frustrated that I finally called and made an appointment. I was able to get in the very next week which was right around my birthday. The trip and visit was a present from my husband (which turned into a present for him, too). I dragged my tired and exhausted self through the airport and wondered if we had made the right choice to go all the way to Texas from New Jersey. It was certainly a leap of faith.
Well, it was a leap that was worth taking. It was worth every penny and every bit of effort to go down to Hotze. The people at the center were kind, sweet, and caring. Dr. Ellsworth was my doctor and he is such a nice man with a gentle way about him. He listened to me carefully and made me feel encouraged that he could help me feel better. He diagnosed me with low thyroid, (which no other Dr had caught), hormonal imbalance (go figure), Candida, allergies, and adrenal fatigue. They put me on their vitamins, an eating program, natural hormones, cortisol, and natural Armour Thyroid. After I returned home I started to dream of what my life would be like if the program really worked , I wanted to travel, perhaps feel comfortable about a little public speaking, be a better wife and a better Mom. I also wanted to get my boys a dog. (I always felt too frazzled to have the added stress of something else to take care of.) I started the program and on the second day on the Armour Thyroid I had more energy. I could actually stay up until 10 or 10:30 which was late for me. About 8 weeks later I really noticed that my moods were sooooo much better and now, 1 1/4 years from my first visit, I feel great, my moods are significantly improved, I have more stamina to deal with the stresses in life. I am much more active, go for regular walks, I have learned to snow ski and this summer I want to learn to water ski. I have lost 15 pounds and went from a size 6 to a size 2. I also want to say that I have a new addition to the family, a sweet 18 pound Irish Jack Russell, a little dog that is such a blessing to our family. I feel so much better and now have a peace of mind and body that used to be nonexistent.
I am so thankful that Dr. Hotze has allowed God to reach out through him to help hurting women and to provide such an excellent and effective program. To Dr. Hotze and Dr. Ellsworth, I will be forever grateful for your wisdom and care. To my husband who has stood by my side through all the ups and downs. To my sweet precious Jesus who holds my hand in life no matter what, either stormy trial or sunny day. I am so thankful that my prayers have been answered and may I never forget how far I have come and that I always remember to give thanks.
Romans 8:35 and 38
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the Love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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